12:35:00
Shola Alade
Sunday, May 3, 2015
If there is anything anyone in a marital relationship looks for in a partner, it is how partner can change for good. As no one is perfect, people in relationship have something within them that they actually want it change. Sometimes, it is the utmost wish of one partner to see other partner change from what’s being perceived as not too good for their relationship.
Did you want anything or wish anything to be changed about your partner?
If your response is emphatic yes, then you should be the change you ask for in him or her. How you may ask?
It is a known fact that no one can change you, so also you too can’t change anyone even the one that closes to your heart. Change comes within and until the person feel convince enough before he or she can begin to think about change.
When you want your partner to change for good and you’re not seeing that happened as you want, you may begin to make request and over time, it can descend into full blown demand and frustration set in and then hostility begins to grow.
Both party get defensive and the impasse get fortified, each person will fold his or her arms in from of them and start saying; I shouldn’t be the one to change first, considering what you have done to me. What initially started with a request for change has turned into a mindless tit-for-tat argument.
What are the things we want from our partner? Is it respect, consideration, or thoughtfulness about us on the part of our partner? We all know that the lack of these in our relationship often time can degenerate into complaints about our partner not being attentive enough to our plight, being self-centred with manipulative behaviour and controlling, or even the destructive silence treatment and excessive criticism.
The truth is, all of us want to be loved and respected and if our relationship lacks love and respect, we are bound to complain about them.
What is the way out of this kind of mess?
Change is the only thing permanent, you can’t change your partner but by changing yourself, you’ll be able to force him or her to respond to the changes you desire. This mean, you can make change happen in the life of your partner by being the first to change. When you modify the way you communicate with your partner and alter your attitude to be more tolerating, your partner will be affected.
If you truly want that change in your partner so that he or she will be more understanding, tolerating and compassionate, then you’ll need to do your best to be the first to take on that approach.
Your thoughtfulness and being less critical about your partner will cause him or her to adopt the change you most wanted. You can’t just act angrily and defensively because your feelings are hurt and you’re expecting your relationship not to further tear apart, but if you learn to maintain your cool, balance and unselfishly share your sensitivity, there will be greater possibility that you’ll get a favourable response from your partner.
This approach may not guarantee you’ll get all the changes you want in your partner but it open you up to a greater change of receiving that change you desire in your partner. So, be the first to change and your relationship partner get vulnerable to the change you want from him or her.
Got any contribution or comment about this article, please feel free to use the comment box below for your contribution and don’t forget to share this article if it make sense to you using any of the social media icons below.
If there is anything anyone in a marital relationship looks for in a partner, it is how partner can change for good. As no one is perfect, people in relationship have something within them that they actually want it change. Sometimes, it is the utmost wish of one partner to see other partner change from what’s being perceived as not too good for their relationship.
Did you want anything or wish anything to be changed about your partner?
It is a known fact that no one can change you, so also you too can’t change anyone even the one that closes to your heart. Change comes within and until the person feel convince enough before he or she can begin to think about change.
When you want your partner to change for good and you’re not seeing that happened as you want, you may begin to make request and over time, it can descend into full blown demand and frustration set in and then hostility begins to grow.
Both party get defensive and the impasse get fortified, each person will fold his or her arms in from of them and start saying; I shouldn’t be the one to change first, considering what you have done to me. What initially started with a request for change has turned into a mindless tit-for-tat argument.
What are the things we want from our partner? Is it respect, consideration, or thoughtfulness about us on the part of our partner? We all know that the lack of these in our relationship often time can degenerate into complaints about our partner not being attentive enough to our plight, being self-centred with manipulative behaviour and controlling, or even the destructive silence treatment and excessive criticism.
The truth is, all of us want to be loved and respected and if our relationship lacks love and respect, we are bound to complain about them.
What is the way out of this kind of mess?
Change is the only thing permanent, you can’t change your partner but by changing yourself, you’ll be able to force him or her to respond to the changes you desire. This mean, you can make change happen in the life of your partner by being the first to change. When you modify the way you communicate with your partner and alter your attitude to be more tolerating, your partner will be affected.
If you truly want that change in your partner so that he or she will be more understanding, tolerating and compassionate, then you’ll need to do your best to be the first to take on that approach.
Your thoughtfulness and being less critical about your partner will cause him or her to adopt the change you most wanted. You can’t just act angrily and defensively because your feelings are hurt and you’re expecting your relationship not to further tear apart, but if you learn to maintain your cool, balance and unselfishly share your sensitivity, there will be greater possibility that you’ll get a favourable response from your partner.
This approach may not guarantee you’ll get all the changes you want in your partner but it open you up to a greater change of receiving that change you desire in your partner. So, be the first to change and your relationship partner get vulnerable to the change you want from him or her.
Got any contribution or comment about this article, please feel free to use the comment box below for your contribution and don’t forget to share this article if it make sense to you using any of the social media icons below.
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